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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Don't Let Your Vision Die

This title came to me when I was listening to a sermon on the radio this morning, on my way to work.  The Pastor was preaching about Christian parenting and he was talking about how God wants us as Christians to teach our children to be Godly.  I than began to think of how this was my vision for my family before my husband and I got married.  However, that is not how it has turned out to be, and along the way, my husband and I both have lost sight of what we were called to do.  With all of the obstacles that he and I have faced, my vision of being a Godly wife and mother, and teaching my children the way of the LORD, had started to whither away.

And I realized that I am letting my vision die.

Once you start to lose sight of something, it becomes an out of sight, out of mind situation.  Then your actions are no longer in line with what you orginally set out to do.  No matter how long it takes, how hard it is, how far away it is, or how much effort you have to put forth, you should never let anything detour you from your mission.

Even in trying to discover my purpose and calling, I lost sight of what my first calling is now, and that's to be a wife and a mother.  To love and honor my husband, and train my children in the way that they should go.  The enemy had me so distracted, that I had forgotten about this.  Well, not forgotten, because it's embedded in my heart, but it became less and less important to me, the more I stacked other things at the top of my life's to-do list.

Noone should ever seek their purpose, without seeking the purpose of God first.  I will be the first to admit, that I am guilty of this, and I knew better.  But I've always been stubborn, and God knew that.  So He let me run around in circles trying to "find myself", because He knew I'd be back eventually.  God does have a sense of humor.

 I believe this is why I've been so lost and unfulfilled.  Because I had begun to let my vision deteriorate.  Before my husband and I got married, all I wanted was for the LORD to use us; to make us an example for other couples; to use us to glorify His name.  But when the crap started to hit the fan, all I wanted to do was run.  I forgot all about what I had asked God to do, and the passion I had for family, because this just could not have been in God's plans.  There must have been some sort of mistake.  He couldn't have possibly meant for me to endure so much in so little time.  I was starting to feel like Job; like I was being tested at every angle, but unlike Job I was failing every test.  I never blamed God, but I had a hard time seeing the glory in any of it.  But I do have hope in this: after Job went through his test, God blessed him 2 times over.

That's why I have decided to breathe new life into my dream of having a family that will glorify God.  I have to get back to putting God first and inviting Him into everything I do.  Like I get so often because I'm very impatient, I got tired of waiting on the LORD and I tried to go off on my own without God, but I'm a great example that that never works.  You will only get so far.  And nothing is more important than me and my family being able to enter into the Kingdom of God when that time comes. 

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